The 31st & 1st; The jumpers will come out soon.

The 31st of October. 

Yes, yes, Happy Halloween. I don’t really do Halloween since it became the day I went into hospital and didn’t leave for seven months. We have a pumpkin and a bag of sweets but that is very much it. 

This morning we had to take all the kittens to the vet for their post-op checks. Amy was resolutely not getting into her carrier, no matter how many treats we tried to tempt her in with. Physically, she is fine, so we decided to leave her here while we took the kittens. We have to get her to go back for second jabs next week so hopefully she might feel better about it then. 

We saw Shaki and Jen at the vet so Mommy talked to them about Amy’s issues and I took the kittens inside. It was the one who did their first jabs so that was a nice bit of continuity, and I am happy to say they’re all fine. 

Back home, I just had time to fill in the paperwork before Shari came to pick up Alfie and Angelica. She was super excited, had barely slept bless her. She signed where she needed to, then we got the kittens into their new (very fancy) carrier and sent them on their way! I have had a text to say that she has a purring Alfie already. 

This afternoon has been more cat-sitting and Black Mirror. I have managed to stroke Amy a bit while giving her treats, but I’m not sure that’ll last. I watched Men Against Fire today, and it was mildly terrifying in its pertinence to the current climate. 

The 1st of November.

I had an unusually busy morning. We have decided that my room really needed a tidy/clean, because it is so dusty in there, it makes me really cough- every morning and evening. However, it has to be a team effort, because with my lungs and back the way they are, I cannot physically do the tidying myself. Mommy brought down a bunch of crap for me to go through that she had already dusted, and I dealt with that while she vacuumed one of my bookcases. I cleared out most of it, kept some, and felt very productive before I’d even been to the chiro!

Trine did some work on my neck and upper back, particularly on my grindy ribcage/shoulderblade situation. She basically pulled them away from each other so it no longer feels gristly which is very pleasing. 

After lunch, I went to the gym, where the only bothersome thing was that the shoulder press is out of order, but my irritance was assuaged by the fact that I got to listen to the new Regina Spektor album which has been out for a month but I was unaware. Also, while I was waiting to be picked up, I made my Christmas playlist, so I have my festive tunes immediately to hand. The jumpers will come out soon.  

The 30th & 1st; Productive.

The 30th of April. 

I have had a really rather productive day. 

It began like any other Saturday. Morning spent in my pyjamas, letting the moisturiser sink in. Wrote up a blog post while drinking my coffee. Read the Weekend Guardian and all of its surrounding furnishings (except travel; I’m not a masochist). We had fun watching all the prospective buyers going in and out of next door, approving or not by eye. While I was doing the sudoku, Mommy’s friend Catherine arrived and we had a brief chat before they went out for lunch. 

I got dressed and made myself some food which was incredibly painful for my back. I tune it out for the most part but I am honestly concerned that I might have a vertebrae fracture. Bloody steroids still ruining my life. 

I decided this afternoon I would take everything out of the old chest of drawers and transfer it all into the new one. My whole bed was covered in the contents. I found all sorts in the bottom drawer, namely some animal wool, two condoms, loads of tampons, an alco-wipe, and five tubes of out of date steroid cream. When Mommy returned, she took the old drawers out, vacuumed, and brought the new ones in before bobbying off again to Grandma’s. I put almost everything back in a slightly different arrangement and was very satisfied. 

I returned downstairs and was feeling like I ought to continue in this fashion, so put Looper on Netflix and started on the limbs of the Moomin. Done two legs and an arm. Now it is time for pizza and I’ll finish the rest this evening. 

The 1st of May. 

Another productive day, just somewhat slower and quieter. 

I had a rubbish night; it took me hours to go to sleep because I was too hot despite the fact that it was three degrees outside. When I got up, I was alone in the house, and had just finished my cereal when Mommy and Daddy returned from taking Grandma to church. 

This morning’s task was to assemble the Moomin. That wasn’t too tricky – I used most of the stuffing we have to get the firmness and the shape right, and I just had to squidge his nose into form. What seemed to take the longest was the eyes. I did the first one quite easily with embroidery thread, but I couldn’t get the second one to cooperate. After much ado, unpicking and redoing it, I gave it a try with wool and that worked straightaway. I’m very pleased with him and I hope the Wilder-Heritages love him just as much. 

After lunch, I wanted to finish The Loney. In all honesty, I did not enjoy it much. I think I was expecting something different to what I got. If you don’t like a lot of blather about God and not really getting any answers, I wouldn’t recommend it. I think I’ll read Sara’s book next and I know that’ll be great. 

The 14th & 15th; My lungs were full of dust.

The 14th of October. 

Wargh so cold. I had a great dream about tiny bunnies wearing top hats and tails while people were playing croquet, and was very reluctant to wake up and get out of bed. 

This morning I wrote up a blog post and was very conscious about my higher than-usual heart rate. It did eventually settle, but it took a couple of hours. Nothing I can attribute it to, just got to watch out for it. 

After lunch, I went with Mommy to pick up Grandma from church lunch, and after taking her back home, she took me to the gym. It was starting to rain when we arrived, and I didn’t want to wait in the cold for someone to let me in. Spurred on by my reasonable experience with the stairs at the Glee, I thought I’d try to climb the two flights to that gym. And I didn’t feel like dying at the top! I haven’t tried the stairs since I first joined, and it was awful then – couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak.

I didn’t get everything I wanted done because there was always a particular man on the machines I wanted, he was everywhere, like a plague. So I ended up skipping some bits and leaving about half an hour earlier than I normally would, which was good timing as the boy who likes to look at his belly had appeared. 

Trying to decide where I want to go to eat for my birthday. I’ll be 25, an age no one expected me to reach. Where do I go?

The 15th of October. 

Today is two years since I wrote a blog post about my imminent death. Apparently not so imminent. It’s weird, sometimes I almost feel bad for not having died yet, like I somehow misled people, but it is all what was told to me at the time, and I’m just really lucky that the superbug hasn’t been reactivated, and that I am still here. I don’t know how, I’m just happy that I am. Most of the time. 

I didn’t exactly spend the day celebrating though. I have been crocheting and tidying. I have made three mini-mittens, trying to work out the right size for a one year old. I have come to the conclusion that I need Elle to measure Luna’s hands, then I can be sure. 

My tidying was to deal with all the shoes/books/crap in front of my bedroom window that were making it hard to close the curtains. Ninety minutes of sitting on the floor, sorting stuff out, putting things away. I’ve realised I have way too many shoes that I don’t wear and need to go to a charity shop or on eBay or something. So many books too! I am awful. When I was finished, my lungs were full of dust, meaning I should probably do it more often. 

I got a phone call from Lynn, current fosterer of the N kitties, and the plan is that she will be bringing the four (FOUR!) of them on Saturday evening or Sunday, depending on what time she gets home from a course she’s doing. 

The 11th & 12th; Lorazepam sleep so today has been a fuzzy blur.

The 11th of October.

So I had pretty much no sleep for some reason, but the rubbishness of that was tempered by the fact that I won a Twitter competition and my prize was lunch for free for me plus one at kingshEATh brumyumyum so Mommy and I went and had tasty street food!

We were having coffee and deciding what to have when we saw Kathryn, the chaplain from BCH and her husband which was lovely as she’s super sweet and obviously we don’t see her anymore, so it was a nice surprise. Mommy decided on a pulled pork burrito, and I had a pulled pork roll and BBQ beans from Rolling Smoke. It was sticky and spicy and messy and totally delicious. For pudding, we both had cakes from Bake – I had an apple cider duffin and Mommy had a New York vanilla crumb cake and both were really good (I had a mouthful of hers). Then we bought lots more cake, including a spiced chocolate pumpkin mini bundt cake which I just ate and it was also absolutely scrummy. Very warming and seasonal.

This afternoon/evening has been spent letting my tummy relax, and I had a tiny little cry at CazFlack dancing to I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing because lack of sleep makes me extra emotional.

The 12th of October.

Lorazepam sleep so today has been a fuzzy blur. I washed my hair and watched Sunday Brunch (although I may have had a little snooze part of the way through) because these things do not require brain power.

I ate my “dirty brownie” from Bake at lunchtime and it certainly took a while! Brownie baked with Oreo inside and a chocolate chip shortbread base. So worth it though. This afternoon has involved crocheting, and as my brain has become less mushy, I crawled upstairs to sort out some of the mess in my bedroom. So I’ve done all of the financial stuff (receipts, bank statements) and got rid of some hair equipment I will not be using again.

Next I really have to do my Summer/Winter clothing swap around/cull, then there will be more space on my floor and in my wardrobes. Then it’s just the books! I’ll get there. Clothes will be a serious undertaking.

Tonight I’ve written a slightly drug-induced essay on fighting cancer. Reading it back might be interesting tomorrow. Or incredibly insightful. It’ll definitely be honest.