The 6th & 7th; I am not going mad.

The 6th of September.

Well, I am not going mad, nor am I doing the crochet wrong. I did some research online, found the pattern on another website, and discovered there are corrections on there! It would have been nice to have had them upon purchase but at least I have them now.

I have been exhausted all day, because I just could not get to sleep last night until after half past two. I’ve had about half my usual amount of sleep and I cannot cope. Zopiclone tonight.

I couldn’t even try to sleep in because I was at Black Sheep at half nine to have my hair changed. Full bleach, now it is purple with white streaks, although they are not really visible at the moment. If they don’t emerge when I wash it, then I can call and get Adam to lighten sections. We had some good chats today, about pug rehab, hair paint brushes, Bake Off, and we got very nostalgic trying to explain the brilliance of Borders to a member of staff too young to remember it.

That was my whole morning, and this afternoon I took a lot of selfies, then had one of my rest-naps. Came back downstairs about half past three, from which point I have done a blog post and worked on this difficult jumper.

The 7th of September.

I am sleepy again this evening, but that’s alright because it’s down to having Zopiclone last night. Thankfully it worked, and I had a beautifully long sleep.

I stayed in my pyjamas to begin with this morning, and once I’d finished my breakfast and coffee, I went upstairs to try on two dresses I had ordered as potential Christmas dresses. They are the same; one red, one green. Keeping the green one, red going back. Glad to have that sorted. Then I gave my hair a rinse – lots of purple water, but no white streaks have emerged, so I sent Sophie at Black Sheep a message and she’s booked me in for 9.15 in Tuesday morning to have Adam lighten some larger panels.

This afternoon, I’ve just been curled up, cosy in my chair. I watched Coraline, and had a go at the large cable pattern that’s in the complicated jumper. I’ve ordered some finer wool to try to make it properly, and I’m hoping that arrives tomorrow. There are so many knitted patterns that I like – I gave up on knitting a long time ago but I think I could learn to do it. If I do, that could become a dangerous habit. No more space in my wardrobe.

 

The 19th & 20th; I feel useless.

The 19th of August.

Today has been much, much better. I had Zopiclone last night so I had a big ol’ sleep, and my eye has been fine. Hurrah!

This morning, I did a very short blog post, then went into Dolly’s room to carry on with my crochet and watch some more House. Finished the penultimate colour and moved onto the white border between colours.

Had lunch, then I went to play some Rayman! I was very annoyed yesterday when I couldn’t because my eye hurt, so I wanted to kick some pirate ass. Frustratingly, I’m pretty sure I missed a couple of bits, so I’m going to have to go back and replay the stuff I did today at some point. Not for a while though.

Back to crochet. Got to the final colour and realised that colours five and six will look better the other way around, so I then had to unravel what I’d started of six, then the white, then all of five. Mind-numbing, but if I’d carried on, I would have hated it and myself. Not having that when the fix is so easy, even if it is incredibly boring.

The 20th of August.

Well it’s been a weird sort of day, because Mommy is poorly. I came downstairs in my gym clothes to find her moving very slowly and having a temperature. Obviously I did not want her doing any driving so after my breakfast I got changed, and have been doing my best to help her be comfortable.

Unfortunately, paracetamol hadn’t really helped (if it’s doing anything, it’s only keeping it just below 38°) and she’s really cold. No other symptoms except feeling generally rubbish. I feel useless and I don’t like it.

Because I’ve been incapable of doing anything productive, I played a bit of Rayman – I think I did a level today that I haven’t done before! – then sat watching House, crocheting. I am nearing the end of my blanket! And I have started season 4 of House, reaffirming my belief since The O.C. that Olivia Wilde has the most perfect face on Earth.

The 22nd & 23rd; They still want her!

The 22nd of July.

My bed was so great. I had a beautiful sleep, although I did have a dream that we forgot to put the sleeve on. Not that it would be the end of the world, but in the dream it was very stressful.

This morning, I watched Sunday Brunch while writing about yesterday, then I finished reading The Intrusions. It’s very good – not as clever as a Jeffery Deaver, but I think I’d read another one by this guy. His name is Stav Sherez. Maybe I’ll look at some of the ones that precede this in the series.

After lunch, the couple I spoke to earlier in the week came to see Dolly. She was out on the wind when the doorbell rang, but as soon as she heard new voices, she was straight under the chair. She stayed there the whole time, so the only way they saw her was by crouching down to look. Still, I told them everything about her, and despite her best efforts, they still want her! Only trouble is, they can’t take her for five weeks, so we need to decide how that’s going to work.

Then I spent the rest of the afternoon watching series 3 of Zoo on Netflix. So much exposition. Still, I smashed through the first four episodes so it can’t have bothered me that much. Dolly came out as soon as the people had gone. She’ll have to get used to them!

The 23rd of July.

Hottest day of the year and I choose to go back to the gym for the first time in a month.

This morning, it felt like I had nothing to do. Once I’d had my breakfast and coffee, I rang Fiona (nurse from The Spire) about getting the problematic stitch removed. Most of them have sorted themselves out now, there are just two left that are being reluctant. Anyway, I’m going to see her tomorrow morning. I also spoke to Sarah about Dolly going back to the cattery briefly, but they have no space whatsoever, so she will be staying here for the next five weeks. That does give us the opportunity to build trust before we have to get her in the carrier again. Maybe she’ll have forgotten what it’s like.

After lunch, to the gym! They have air con, so I was not caused any problems by the heat. I didn’t do any arm stuff, although I am allowed to do a little. For today I just did legs and abs, so I was only there for about an hour and a half. Unfortunately, school holidays mean there were loads of youths, and one of them smelled so bad, I had to breathe in the opposite direction.

Tomorrow I think I will be very stiff.

The 10th & 11th; Stupid weird kitty.

The 10th of July.

Oooh I am very itchy. Apparently it is one of the many weird sensations one can get after liposuction so I took an antihistamine to try to counter it but it wasn’t really helpful.

I was able to take the sleeve off for a couple of hours this morning, which was very nice. The elbow and wrist have been squeezed particularly hard. Plus my hand is holding a lot of the fluid still; I still ask Fiona about that on Friday if it’s still there.

I spent my afternoon watching the tennis, crocheting and periodically visiting Dolly to see if she could be persuaded to eat anything, because she hasn’t since yesterday evening. I would go in, she’d ignore the food, but then she’d cry when I left. She has just eaten a small amount of fish, but then wandered off to look out of the window and howl. I do not understand this bloody cat.

The 11th of July.

The itchiness has calmed down today, thankfully. Instead, the issue of the day has been hand swelling – the garment forces some of the fluid into my hand, and it felt enormous this morning. I tried putting the compression glove on, but that just seemed to cut off the circulation to my fingers. Not ideal. Eventually I took the sleeve off for an hour this afternoon, just to give it a rest. My fingers are not shiny like they were earlier so it’s helped a bit.

My day has been remarkably uninteresting. I actually spent pretty much my whole afternoon lying on my bed with my feet up against the wall, trying to get some of the fluid that appears to have pooled in my feet to drain. I think I may have even fallen asleep. But after a few hours, it was too much pressure on my back so I came back downstairs. Sat with Dolly for a little bit because she is back to her habit of crying all the time. She does it whether we’re there or not, but I feel bad if I ignore her. Stupid weird kitty.

The 8th & 9th; I almost match.

The 8th of July.

So, so tired.

I didn’t fall asleep until about 3 this morning because my arm hurt and I couldn’t get in a comfortable position and the sheets were a mess. Then I was woken up at 7 for my breakfast of toast, marmalade and coffee. I asked the nurses for my Tramadol, because the codeine did fuck all, and found that helped enough for me to be able to bend my arm, brush my teeth and sort out my bed a bit.

Anne had said I could go without seeing her, but I wanted to see what she thought of my arm today and find out what we were to do regarding dressings. She appeared at quarter to twelve, with Mommy and the nurse, which was excellent timing. She took off the bandages, peeled the sleeve down, then removed all the Mepores, trying not to tear my skin. It looks pretty amazing! It looks best immediately post-surgery, then the swelling will go up, but both arms looked nearly identical! And all the compression has alleviated some of the bruising. The nurse gave all the wounds that needed it a clean, then applied new dressings before putting a new sleeve on. So everything is good! I see Fiona the nurse next week, Julie in six weeks, and Anne in September. Then we just had to wait for pharmacy to send up my TTOs and it doesn’t seem to matter if it’s an NHS or a private hospital, they still move at a glacial pace.

I almost match. I’m so happy.

The 9th of July.

Sleep was good. I lay on top of the sheet with my arm on a pillow and managed to stay there until a reasonable time. The arm was less painful, so I think that helped.

I have done very little today. This morning, we watched Christine mace-bear at a graduation ceremony over live stream, then we caught up on the Taskmaster finale that we missed while we were away.

Sarah came back with Dolly, who despite having a lovely time at the cattery, scratched Sarah and wet herself when it came to having to get in the carrier. Poor thing. She has gone straight under the chair.

We had lunch, then I sat with Dolly all afternoon, crocheting and watching Zootropolis. She has not emerged, just like Boris. Suddenly my trip to the Houses of Parliament on the 18th has become even more interesting. 

The 30th & 1st; I hate writing about holidays.

The 30th of June.

I hate writing about holidays because usually so much of it is “We did this. We did that.” And it is not interesting to read.

I didn’t have a good sleep because the floors of upstairs are really creaky and loud, so if someone moved, I heard it. The plumbing is also really noisy, as are all the birds. Plus, the bed is not super comfortable.

This morning, we had a trip to Leiston to go to a wool shop, because I forgot to bring the wool I need to assemble the blanket. I did some Googling and that was the nearest place. They actually had exactly what I wanted, then I ended up having quite a long chat with the shop owner because she was on oxygen and she had a compressor which is something I haven’t tried but will probably need in future.

Then we went to Snape for lunch, and ate in this café situated in a large homeware shop. Three of us had the fish platter, and Daddy had a vegetarian breakfast. The fish was lovely and there was plenty of it, but the bread was dry. In the shop, there were loads of expensive mugs I wanted to buy but didn’t (£21? Fuck off) and nice furniture, but all I purchased was some coffee.

Back in Aldeburgh, I got some disappointing gelato, saw a lot of good dogs, then came home to start putting the blanket together.

The 1st of July.

Fuck, my back hurts so much this evening. Maybe it’s my fault for sitting and crocheting all day. Or the sofa’s fault for being unsupportive. Today is my first day of what should be an effective dose of CBD capsules so maybe soon I will feel some difference. I really fucking hope so.

I had a better sleep now I have earplugs, so that’s been a plus for today. To be honest, I’ve only moved from my crocheting spot to eat lunch and go to the ice cream shop. A different one to yesterday, and much better. I will go there again. I’ll also try coffee from there because all the coffee I’ve tried so far has been poor.

That’s it! I’m being industrious because I want to get this blanket done, then I don’t have to worry about it. I want to get it done while we’re here because I don’t think I’ll be up to it after my lipo.

The 16th & 17th; Cushions feel like clouds.

The 16th of June.

Three hours of sleep. Street noise, bin lorries, club music unbelievable. Drop off about four. Up at seven. Pad about, make disgusting scummy tea. Refuse hotel breakfast, insist we go on family trip to Hjem for delightful Danish pastries and granola and really good coffee. Feel better. Go to V&A to meet Christine. She and Daddy go to Ocean Liners, Mommy to fashion, I go to miniature portraits, except the wrong way via household objects. Finally get to tiny pictures, just reach the end when Auntie Hilary texts me to say she and Jeremy are here. I sweep round jewellery, marvelling at the sparkly things, go to find family. Go to restaurant, and spend three hours eating and catching up on life in detail. Have to leave at three to get back to Euston for train home. Big hugs. Taxi to station. Buy fruity drink and magazines. Get put in least favourite wheelchair position. Train stops at Rugby because of suicide. Everyone gets off and we wait for ramp. Then train is allowed to go to Coventry; we go alone. Alight at Coventry, find ourselves stuck. Wait for coach. For some reason, no coaches will go to Birmingham so after 40 minutes we are put in a taxi. Driver gets lost trying to find New Street station so we end up getting out in Chinatown. Daddy goes to get the car from the NIA car park, Mommy and I go to the station to get food from M&S, wait for Daddy. He picks us up, we drive home, get here just after eight, two hours late. Pain indescribable. Cushions feel like clouds. I eat crumpets. I take Zopiclone. I collapse.

The 17th of June.

No energy today. Had two Zopiclone last night, so today I’m useless but I don’t care. My bed was amazing.

Unsurprisingly, I haven’t much to say. This morning, during breakfast and coffee, I watched Sunday Brunch (sort of – I couldn’t tell you what happened). I wanted to give crocheting a hexagon a try because I’m going to make a blanket of them. Thought I ought to practise. When getting out a hook, I discovered that two have gone missing (the 2.5mm and the 10mm). I had the 10 out not long ago to make the multicoloured cardigan, yet it has disappeared. We’ve searched everywhere but they’re nowhere to be found. I can’t lie, I was so tired and confused, I nearly cried.

Dolly is back under the chair (she managed to get under the front which is frankly very impressive) and not coming out for anything, so this afternoon I sat with her, crocheting a hexagon with one of the hooks I do have, and watching The Incredibles. Nothing that required memory or attention. By the end, I’d got her to eat a Dreamie I put right in front of her face.

After that, I wrote about the weekend and now it is time for partridge. I want to go to bed for a week.

The 2nd & 3rd; My body is fighting with me.

The 2nd of June.

Bleugh. I am tired and we are going out tonight and my back fucking kills today.

It took me ages to get to sleep for no apparent reason, then I couldn’t lie in because a lady was coming to see Dot at half ten and I couldn’t appear to have just rolled out of bed. I had breakfast and typed up a blog post, before Pauline arrived very promptly and we went to see the floofs.

She has met them before, as her daughter-in-law works at the cattery where they were born, so she actually know their history better than we do! It seems Dolly was a stray and got a boyfriend, this absolute unit of a tom called Billy, and he started bringing her to the cattery to show her where she could get food. How precious?! Pauline knew she wanted Dot from day one, and she understands how nervous she is and what she needs in a home, so we’re happy for Dot to go and live with her.

She was here about an hour and a half, so there wasn’t really any morning left then. I’ve spent my afternoon watching some tennis while crocheting, listening to Friends with Friends, and shuffling around the floor, following Dolly, trying to get her to settle down for a stroking session. She is my Everest.

The 3rd of June.

My body is fighting with me today. It is exhausted and it hurts.

I forgot to say yesterday that it was Bill Bailey we were out seeing last night. He finished late, and my back was already awful, so those things compounded mean today has been pretty dire.

All morning, I was sleepy. Not a normal amount of sleepiness, an excessive amount, so much so that even during my coffee I was thinking about having a nap this afternoon. My activity has been limited to crochet, just going back and forth doing the collar of this cardigan. I now have three rows left, then I have to attach the sleeves and weave in the ends and it will be done! Probably tomorrow.

After lunch, I went upstairs for Gardener’s Question Time, a lie down to rest my back, and an attempt at a nap. I know I was awake for the first twenty minutes, but once I’d turned on to my side, I’m fairly certain I was only semi-conscious. It made me feel slightly better.

I got Dolly to purr! I’m sure it was her this time. We were having Dreamies and the kittens were trying to get in the way, but I was stroking her and scratching her ears and she definitely purred. Maybe when the kittens are gone, things will get better.

The 25th & 26th; We left feeling uplifted.

The 25th of May.

Double Zopiclone meant I actually had a good sleep last night, and I feel like tonight will be decent too. Let’s hope I’m not wrong.

Today has been sad and lovely simultaneously. It was the funeral of Mr. Padden, one of my teachers from Hallfield. He was a great man, and I wanted to pay my respects, as did Fiona, so we went along to say goodbye and thank you.

I got there first, and found myself transported back to sixteen years ago, surrounded by the adults who were so important in my formative years. Mr. Cook, my Year 6 form teacher, who had left by the time I went back to do work experience, had to be reminded who I was, then I had to relay the past ten years to him. He gripped my hand so tightly, bless him. I was overjoyed to see Mrs. Thomas and Mrs. Norton aka Matron (who reads this! Hello!), Mrs. Villiers-Cundy, Mrs. Hore, Mr. Tobin and Mr. Florance. The affection I hold for these people is really beyond measure.

The service was beautiful. He wasn’t religious, so there were tributes from his daughters, friends and colleagues, plus his favourite songs, including a performance of Bring Him Home which absolutely broke me. It closed with us all singing the last two stanzas of Jerusalem, because he loved the last night of the proms and we left feeling uplifted, instead of depressed.

Fiona found me afterwards, and we followed other cars to the wake. We both had a glass of wine and started reminiscing with our old teachers about the old days. I kind of understand why so many people want to hark back to days gone by, but life has changed and we can’t have those times back. I wish we could have stayed for even longer, but we had to go and pick up Fiona’s children from their respective childcare. I got to meet baby Jack! He is a gorgeous ginger squidge. I did not cuddle him because he was a bit snotty, and he is not a massive fan of new people. Then Daddy picked me up and we drove home, enjoying all the chive flowers on the way.

The 26th of May.

It is warm and I am confused. And tonight it will be muggy and wet and we have to make sure my ceiling doesn’t fall down during the deluge.

For once, I got the sleep I expected, and my alarm woke me up! An unusual occurrence, but one I welcome.

The morning seemed to disappear while I wrote about yesterday, and I only got round to getting dressed at about twelve. Poof, gone.

This afternoon, Daddy and I went to see Solo. It was fine. On the whole I enjoyed it, I’m just not really invested in any of the characters so I didn’t care that much. Chewbacca and Lando are the best, and everyone else is a bit of a dick.

When we came out, we had to fill in a survey about the film for a girl from Universal. I was honest about my levels of enthusiasm. I’m only here for the Leia film, let’s be honest.

The 21st & 22nd; I touched the mommy cat!

The 21st of May.

Had a Zopiclone last night because it took me so long to fall asleep the night before. Did it work? Absolutely the fuck not. Bleah.

This morning, I wrote up a blog post, then I finished the collar and bottom edge of my cardigan before listening to the last Riverdale Register of the series. I think I’ll miss the podcast more than the show.

After lunch (pretzels! They were good) I was supposed to be having coffee with Selina, but she got stuck helping a friend with a visa application, so we’ve had to take a raincheck. Instead, I made one sleeve of the cardigan, which I have now decided I don’t like and I’m going to unravel it and change it.

I also put some work in with the kittens, and today all three of them got stroked and they purred, even though they seemed confused as to why they were doing it. As a bonus, I got to see Dolly! I put out lots of Dreamies near the back of the chair, and crouched down to show her my face. Then I went to sit on the bed and was doing something on my phone when I heard crunching. Turned around and there she was! We sat and looked at each other, then she went back under her chair but I feel like that’s progress.

The 22nd of May.

I touched the mommy cat! For about a second.

This morning, I finally sorted out the right sleeve of my cardigan, after several attempts last night. I didn’t like the pattern, and ended up writing my own. I suppose it’s never going to look like the picture when I’m using all of the colours I have at my disposal but still.

I found out the pretzels are not so good on the third day. Next experiment is to see how they defrost. I had decided to return to the gym today after my week off, and smh straight after lunch because I needed to be done early so Mommy could take Alison somewhere at four o’clock.

Everything seemed harder than usual, but I think that was due to the warmth rather than my week off. It meant I burnt more calories doing less work than usual and I got out before the deluge of youths.

When I got home, I did the left sleeve, then I went to see the kitties, which is when the almost-petting happened! I basically lured Dolly out from under the chair with Dreamies. She would get so far, then stop and sit and look at me, so I sat and looked at her, telling her how I am nice and we will be friends. She inched slowly forward, and she smelled my hand without running away. When she finally got close enough, I reached out to touch her, but once contact was made, she retreated to safety. However, only behind the chair, not underneath!